Identifying a Tantrum vs Sensory Overload
When your child is in the middle of a meltdown, you simply try to help them feel better and stop the tantrum as soon as possible, but understanding the underlying cause can help you understand approaches to assist them, as well as prevent future recurrence.
Sensory overwhelming behaviors can sometimes look like a tantrum or a meltdown in children. Some parents may have the inclination of punishment for a public meltdown or causing a big scene, but in the case of sensory overload, neither punishment nor reward will help the situation. Often times, removing a triggering sensory input from the environment, supporting the child with helpful coping strategies, or providing alternative sensory supports to increase neurological organization can assist them in regaining control.
Tantrums are typical when children are seeking more attention, are feeling emotionally unstable, or simply trying to get something they want. The key to identifying the defiance behaviors is looking for the reason your child is behaving a particular way. If they are yelling or crying and suddenly stopping to check to see if you are looking, it is likely a reaction to something they want or are upset about.
In either case, the important thing is to focus on figuring out what your child needs, whether it is remaining strong and not giving into their tantrum’s demands or removing the cause of the sensory input creating the issue. Here are a few things to look out for when your child is having a meltdown to help identify the right course of action:
Reading The Signs:
Demanding Your Attention
Is your child eyeing you to make sure you are still watching them in the midst of their meltdown? As mentioned earlier, that is likely undesired behavior in form of a simple tantrum to obtain attention and get what they want. Depending on the scenario, you might ignore the behavior or you might give them what they want. If the tantrum stops after they are given what they were upset about, then that’s a clearer indication that it is a tantrum and not a neurological response.
If your child is given what they are asking for and continues to melt down for a longer time afterward, this is more likely related to an overwhelming sensory input from their surroundings, triggering the meltdown. Your child will also most likely not be paying any attention to who is watching or what is going on around them - they are not in control of their body and responses at this point.
In Control or Out of Control
One way that sensory-based behaviors can escalate and become harmful is when a child is less in control of their physical awareness and behaviors. Sometimes when children are in the middle of a tantrum they might hit themselves, throw themselves onto the floor, or flail around violently. When a child is vying for your attention, they will likely be conscious of their body and of hurting themselves, so you can watch them closely to see if they are gently falling to the floor to flail, or if they are doing so without consideration of actually hurting themselves. If they appear to be in control and aware, this primarily indicates a tantrum.
It can be difficult to gauge what the difference is when trying to figure out sensory overwhelming behaviors versus defiance behaviors. Being overwhelmed can lead to loss of control where your child may not really know what they are doing, but could potentially cause themselves harm unintentionally. Children are typically very resilient and will try to provide their body the input necessary to facilitate a calming reaction; however, due to their naive nature and having a lack of neurological organization and control, it can cause maladaptive strategies resulting in unintentional harm to themselves.
When your child is in the middle of a sensory meltdown, it can be difficult to know how to handle it once you identify what is going on. It is important to remember not to be overwhelmed yourself, especially if you are in public - remember to disregard any concern for causing a scene and just try to get at the root of what is causing the problem for your little one. You can learn to help them through these events, prevent them in the future, and to quickly identify the tantrums with avoidance of positive reinforcement for unwanted behavior. Working with your child’s occupational therapist can help identify your child’s specific sensory needs for the best strategies to assist them and you in a variety of situations.
View this helpful resource below and learn more from the author and creator of the Developmental Iceberg:
Purchase Social and Emotional Development in Early Intervention book by Mona Delahooke, PhD.
Tips for Success
By prepping your children for what is coming up next, they can be better prepared for the activity and more armed for ideal coping. If you are getting ready to go to the grocery store, let them know! “We are going to go to the store and get a few things. Then we are going to look down a few aisles for a gift for grandma, and then we will check out and go home!” That way the child is not taken by surprise and may be less overwhelmed.